I Boast No More

No More My God, I boast no more of all the duties I have done. I quit the hopes I held before, to trust the merits of Thy Son.

No more my God, no more my God, no more my God, I boast no more.

Now, for the loss I bear his name, what was my gain I count my loss. My former pride I call my shame and nail my glory to His cross.

Yes, and I must, I will esteem all things but loss for Jesus' sake. O may my soul be found in Him and of His righteousness partake. Amen, amen.

The best obedience of my hands dares not appear before Thy throne. But faith can answer Thy demands by pleading what my Lord has done.

"I Boast No More" -- Isaac Watts, Caedmon's Call

These words have been ringing through my head the last few months. Especially the chorus. I don't remember where I heard this, but I was told once that in Scripture, when things are repeated three times it is specifically for the purpose of EMPHASIS. Not mere assertion but complete certainty and undeniability. When the seraphim call out "Holy, Holy, Holy" in praise of God, THEY ARE NOT THROWING THOSE WORDS AROUND as I easily do, and so many of us do. Each time the chorus of this song cries out "No more, my God" I hear it. I hear the utter frustration with the flesh, the longing for sanctification, and the burning desire to be laid completely down ... to let faith in Christ be the answer for the demands we cannot meet. I'll probably write more about this later, but being in Oregon right now is teaching me this ... I hope you're all well and CHOOSING to be laid down.

Reckless Abandon

"Blessed are you, O Israel, who is like you, a people saved by the Lord, who is the shield of your help and the sword of your majesty! So your enemies will cringe before you, and you will tread upon their high places." -Deuteronomy 33:29. With such promises, how could I withhold myself? How can I resist? My God clearly wants all of me ... somehow ... and is calling me continually to surrender. Yet, abandon unto the Lord is so secure. The funny thing about reckless abandon is that it is anything but reckless. Those who fall are caught. Those who fling themselves, rightfully helpless, into His arms are held. My heart has undergone varied weights and has been heavy for different reasons. At times, sorrow and regret for refusing to surrender. Other times, heaviness at realizing the weight and potential of glory. But when all is said and done, and I find myself raw and exposed before God, I just want to jump. I just want to be held. I just want to fling myself into His infinite embrace. This helpless, stubborn, fearful case should have closed long ago. But for this I have received mercy and grace upon grace. Hmmm ......... I can say no more.

Shizzle My Kizzle

Well, if you know me, then you no doubt are aware of my love for cats. This holiday season was colored with a bit of sadness, as my mom is being forced to give up our cats for adoption due to financial difficulty .... sigh .... it's been hard, I won't lie. We've raised those cats since they were kittens, watched their personalities grow, laughed at them, invested in their well being .... yes, they're cats, but they're really special to us. Basically, they might be gone before I get to Oregon on Thursday. BUT I would be lying entirely and not ackowledging the Lord's love and sovereignty unless I told you about the blessing I have stumbled upon. Well, not stumbled .... I believe God's actions are very personal, very accurate, very deliberate and very good. The house that I moved into has come with both a cat and a dog! As I'm writing this, the cat is playing, running around, purring, all the best cat stuff. I love it. Her name is Kizzle (hence the title of the post). The dog isn't here, but I look forward to getting to know him, too. His name is Oscar .... and apparently he pees if you pet him too much .... oh, boy. Well, I'm looking forward to times ahead, should the Lord tarry. Merry, merry, merry Christmas, everyone. He IS come. May the gift you give this season of your lives (whatever season it may be) be a gladly sacrificed life. It's the only way. I love you all .... His best.

Great Expectations

Tonight is Friday night, which means I went to Living Stones, a college and career type group that meets at a church across town ... WAY across town (because right now I live at the base of Mt. Rose). This community of believers has been a great encouragement to me. In preparation for Christmas, we have been looking at the Jesus' first coming from a Jewish perspective (visions of Arnold Fruchtenbaum dance through my head). I was struck very heavily by the concept of waiting. The majority of history has been devoted to waiting ... Since the Messiah was first promised at the fall of man, we have been waiting for redemption. And now that He IS come, we, together with creation, "eagerly await the revealing of the sons of God" (Rom. 8) and the redemption of our bodies, Christ's reign established, the end of sin. I find that I, as the Israelites did in waiting for Christ, concoct countless expectations of "things" in my own life. How they will arrive, what form they may take, dreams of how euphoric they will be ... Dangerous. I'm realizing still that expectations are not merely about outcome of events, but expecting who the Lord will show Himself to be in those circumstances. If you're looking for the Lord, you will find Him, regardless. Simeon (Luke 2) saw Him when he was only 1 and 1/2 months old. No halo. No "hallelujah" chorus. A child, helpless and dependent, such the lamb ... Yet the Lion of Judah. Simeon knew this, could recognize the Lord in the situation because his waiting was contingent not on the outcome or outward appearance of the events, but the promise of God: "Now Lord, you are releasing your bond-servant to depart in peace, according to Your word; For my eyes have seen Your salvation, which You have prepared in the presence of all the peoples, a light of revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of Your people Israel." (Luke 2:29-32). This is very personal to me. I have great expectations a lot of the time. But the Lord is faithful even now to strip me of false hopes and draw me into dependence upon my Living Hope. "Indeed, while following the way of Your judgments, O Lord, We have waited for You eagerly; Your name, even Your memory, is the desire of our souls." - Isaiah 26:8

American Eagle

Well, day two at AE has completed ... oh, there is so much to learn. The retail industry is a difficult one to work in/for, especially in this given season. My heart is challenged: do I go to work to be served or to serve? May I lay down my life on the basis that Christ has abundantly done so. Psalm 18 has encouraged me while folding clothes and greeting customers. My strength, my refuge, my shield, my deliverance, my blamelessness, my righteousness, my rock, my God in whom I trust. That which I need, He is. May I recall this ... p.s. Highlight: I got to use the pricing gun and the SKU scanner today ... really cool! Lowlight: The song "Caught Up" will forever compell me to do price checks ...

Mmmm ...

"Keep me as the daughter of Your eye. Hide me in the shadow of Your wings." -Psalm 17:8 I cannot lie when I say that this brings me to tears ... honestly. I was writing a letter to a dear friend of mine today and I wanted to include a verse ... something relevant. My thoughts first went to the page my bible naturally fell open to the other day (haha, very spiritual), and these words from psalm 17 jumped off the page. There is something so tender about this. I have observed many fathers and daughters in these 21 years I have lived and I am one myself (a daughter, that is). And there is something so unequivocal to the way a father looks at his daughter ... easily seen when no one else is looking. : ) To him, she is perfect, she has a purity that is incapable of being stained. Given, I have also seen the opposite of this in caring for the daughters of many whose dads reject them brutally ... but there is a still a longing for those eyes -- the eyes whose center is you. I needed to be reminded of that today, that my Heavenly Father actually wants me. I needed to be reminded of this vast love that will never let me go. There have been times when, as a daughter to my Heavenly Father, I feel painfully indignant to Him. It's as if we are sitting on the couch, saying nothing, my arms crossed and my eyebrows furrowed in anger ... and all He wants to do is talk. And here I am, not talking, because I'm afraid. Afraid of something else being taken away, afraid of discipline. But still He waits ... and another friend once told me (one whom I respect beyond words) that when all we expect is for Him to take something away, He just wants to give. Simple concept, but oh ... to live it. Mmmm ... I'm learning. In a painfully slow fashion, but learning. I hope that whoever reads this will know they are kept and loved. May we hide and abide in the shadow of His wings.

Quote of the Week from Pastor Bill Sherman

Pastor Bill is the college group/former Sat. night pastor at Reno Christian Fellowship. He has dilligently sent thousands of people a weekly quote for YEARS in order to provoke Christ-centered lives and thought outside of Sunday. He is leaving the church to plant another at the end of this year ... I'm glad God is expanding his life of ministry to include other "adventures" ... I hope He still sends the quotes, though ... May your thoughts and actions be provoked! "An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered." - G. K. Chesterton

Reno At Night

I have to be honest when I say that I often question why I'm here. Maybe it's the night talking ... but sometimes I do wonder. I wonder where I fit in this pool of lights. I wonder at the excess of it all. But the reminders come subtly. I am consoled when I remember that God is here and He has a plan. He sees my frame, strategically places me in the height of my frailty in order to instill the dependence I need and crave. "And you know the way where I am going." - John 14:4. Thomas, who is known to many as the doubter of the disciples (although I venture to say that it's not exclusive to Thomas), asks, "Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?". To which Jesus replies, "I am the way, the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me." Thomas, asking the question as though Jesus' departure was a geographical matter, is reminded by Jesus that it's not about what is seen, but rather what is unseen. In walking with the Lord, I often wonder if I know the way ... but I do. And it has nothing to do with where I am. I need to get my compass pointing in the right direction and head straight for Home ... not a location, but a person. It just so happens that Reno is part of the journey Home. But until then, in the nights that I wonder "why", I have a promise: "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. After a little while the world will no longer see Me, but you will see Me; because I live, you will live also." - John 14:18-19. It will be okay.

Welcome ...

Well ... There's not too much to say quite yet ... Except welcome! There should be more to come shortly. Cheers!