Tenudo

Well .... here I am. It is all too overwhelming to try and capture all that has happened since the last post .... but rather than filing it all away in the "too much time and effort to blog about" pile, I'll employ a helpful tactic: a list. I've made them before, and they do help. So, without further ado, "The List" part two (I didn't intend to rhyme, but I like it anyway).

1. The title of this post comes from a musical symbol which, when written over a note, implies that a note be held out for its full value -- and even exceed the limits of its value a little bit. That is what each day has felt like since the beginning of the semester. Each day is held out for it's full value -- not to the point of crossing the lines of time and space -- but full nonetheless. I wish I could say that I perceive each moment's fullness as God intends, but honestly, at times .... I'm just busy. There are days in which I run from one thing to the next and I don't see my little nest for 18 hours. Yet, I cannot deny that I am thankful for each of the things placed in my life for one reason or another.
2. One of those things is school. I love school. It's a frightening thought, but I can see myself being a perpetual student, ultimately to assume my place as the eccentric older lady sitting in the front of the classroom, laughing at the most inappropriate times. Oh, the joy .... I think I'm exaggerating a little bit, but I am enjoying myself. I'm taking mostly Music classes: theory, history, choir, piano, a voice lesson .... and an English Lit class (I'm testing the waters to see if I want to minor in it). Each class has a wonderful professor, each class has taught me so many interesting things, and each class has offered me both joy and challenge. It's funny .... I still don't know what I'm doing, but my feet are moving. A few weeks ago, I was in the car with my dad. I was having a bit of an overwhelming moment as I contemplated everything on the plate before me, and doubting that the "things" in my life had purpose. As I was on the verge of tears, my dad said something so clear and beautiful. He said, "I know that you're on the right track." It was straight from the mouth of God. Yes, parents are often known to say such things, but I know that neither my Heavenly Father nor my earthly father would say this unless it were true. I know that God is unique and none of His plans can be thwarted. The path He orchestrates, with its turns, rocks, roots, hills and vales is sure to be completed. If we are chosen of God, this is our reality. We will hear Him saying "This is the Way ... walk in it" whether we turn to the right or to the left. So .... all is well.
3. I've also recently started singing at my church. It has been a privilege to communicate in this way again. Its also so wonderful to get to know the Family better, with all their quirks and glories. It is an honor to serve alongside and be related to such favorites as: lead guitarists in their own little worlds, friendly and encouraging bass players, women who embody Proverbs 31 to the extreeeeeeeme, prayerful and humble little drummer boys, and leaders, visionaries rather, whose lives are lived in unbelievable honesty. I consider myself the least of such a band of troubadours, but so thankful to be with them, to learn from them. It is a challenge to serve in this way and there exists a seriousness and responsibility with proclaiming the Truth and communicating this way. I often feel dirty, exposed and unworthy as I stand before the congregation. But a few days ago, the Lord led me to John chapter 8, the story of the adulterous woman (caught in the act) who is set free. It's interesting. Even after the stones of judgment have departed with the hands that carried them, the woman continues to stand in her shame. Jesus askes her, "Who is it that comdemns you?" There is no one. He then says, "Neither do I. Go. And sin no more." I am often like this woman. Even after judgment has been undone, I still choose to stand in my shame -- shame of the past, present, future -- the very shame of which Christ has made me more than a conqueror through Him. Yet, Christ says to go. Do no dwell on the shame. Go live. Go and enjoy the freedom of no longer being a slave to sin. Go and proclaim what He has done before the congregation and do not restrain your lips. I am thankful to be learning this, slowly arriving to it alongside such a patient and gentle Teacher.
4. There is much more to say .... but it will all come out in time. In the meantime, I am thankful for those of you who, in your blog hopping, have visited the blog called Brown with laughter and rolled eyes because of its painful neglect (and yet you still come back). I send you my love. I remain your friend. I remain your servant.