We Need To Talk

Have a seat. This may take a while.

Friends, being that the blog is the communicative tool that it is and being that I am as hungry for observations and insights as I am, I am going to open up a giant can of worms.

I am on staff at my church here in Reno and we are currently in the process of probing and exploring what is being termed the Emerging Church Movement. Yes, big can of worms. But we know that big worms catch big fish. Don't ask me what that's supposed to mean. : )

My first encounter with the words "emerging" and "emergent" was not a good one. A good friend of mine warned me of this phenomenon and it's penchant for watered-down or false doctrine. I looked it up myself, went to emergentvillage.com, and found little or no information. I was able to put the whole issue on the back burner for a while. That is, until it started hissing, the lid started jumping and fizzing and the whole pot boiled over onto everything. I can't ignore it now. It's something I have to think about ... pretty much every day. I have to stir this pot, look at its ingredients, taste it, carefully watch what I put into it and take out of it.

Honestly, the Lord has been faithful to lead us (the people I work with and myself) in Truth thus far. I have been amazed at how "not-scary" the conversation has been. There are indeed some exciting changes happening in Western culture and in the church. However, I proceed with caution, for as the day draws near, many will seek to have their ears tickled and egos stroked -- and turn away from the One who calls us to love enemies, bless persecutors, turn cheeks and who calls our hearts to embrace the sting of suffering.

Bottom line ... I want to know what you think. Anyone, everyone, from every context and country and culture ... if you have something to say, please do. What do you think is happening in the Western World? Are we experiencing a cultural shift? What does emerging mean to you? What have you found out there? I would love to hear your perspectives and thoughts. Shoot me a comment or an e-mail. Thanks, everyone.

Better Than Wine

"Reality is like a fine wine. It will not appeal to children." - A successful businessman in Portland, c/o the incomparable Donald Miller in his book, Searching For God Knows What ...

I have been a child in so many ways. Not a child in the "let the little children come to Me" sense, but a child in the most obstinate, strong-willed, human sense.

These last few years have seen many changes -- understatement. And I feel as if that statement passes my lips all too often, as if I'm trying to provide explanation for the new wrinkles around my eyes and the all too frequent discovery of gray hairs on my head. But don't let the wrinkles fool you; I'm still very much a child.

I've discovered over this past month that most of the pain in my life -- aside from the absolute blessing of the Father's discipline -- is caused by both my inability to say no, and my unwillingness to take no for an answer. There are times, whether it be regarding a decision to be made, a relationship with a gentleman, what have you ... when God answers my petitions with a resounding "no", and I barter and haggle until I get my way. Then I do. Then it hurts. Then I'm upset. Then I say things like, "Why are You doing this?" and "What on earth is happening?" ... oh, child.

A few weeks ago, I laid in bed one night, plagued with the recurring doubts of my past and youth (ironically enough), grieving over choices and things left unsaid, and I cried. Hard and loud, like a child. And I heard that "still, small voice" and He said, "No." He said no; and it was the absolute most comforting sound in the world at that moment. No! No, don't grieve any longer. No, don't question any longer. No, don't carry this guilt and shame. No, you can't have that dream. No, you have to wait. No.

I felt as if I could breathe again. In a moment my chest obtained greater capacity to breathe, to live. All because He said no ... and this time it was okay. No more fighting, no more haggling, no more sulking, no more shame. I am thankful that He has said "no" so many times. He has denied me things that will surely hurt me and said "no" to free me up for the things He will say "yes" to.

He is a good God.

Back to the wine ... I'm not at all saying that a person's distaste for alcohol has any correlation to their spiritual maturity. However, the principle is absolute. When you become a man (or woman) you put away childish things and put on maturity; this is a sign of falling in love, growing in love with Jesus. Your tastes change, you gain a greater capacity to perceive God and His glory with these feeble eyes and ears and taste buds.

I'm turning 23 in a week or so ... and I'm looking forward to growing up. I'm looking forward to being in relationship with Christ, having my tastes change, and thereby experiencing more of Him. I'm looking forward to having my life catch up with the wrinkles on my face and the gray hairs on my head. Praise God for choosing us to be in relationship with Him -- and for saying "no" when we need it so desperately.

"For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. " -Psalm 84:11

The Fatal Cut

".... but i don’t want medication just give me liberation even if it cuts my legs right out from under me don’t give me medication i want the real sensation even when living feels just like death to me." - Derek Webb, "Medication" "If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell." - Matthew 5:29-30 ___________________________________________________________________

Just some thoughts I've been having lately. -KB

___________________________________________________________________ Plastic surgery can be a scary thing. Given, there are times when it can be warranted, but that's more of an exception than a rule. Not only is socially acceptable, but it is socially expected when one is faced with a physical flaw, regardless of it's severity. It is the finding of a nose or a wrinkle, and adapting it to fit our own standards of perfection. And as an analogy to our inward being, it is a proceedure that is fatal. I know that I surgically alter my flaws. No, not in a physical sense, but in my deepest part. I know the fact that I am flawed haunts me, angers me, and I seek many solutions other than the one offered by Christ. But what He is asking for is amputation. He wants to offer the freedom that comes from cutting it off and throwing it far away. On one hand I've thought, "Maybe this is too violent. Doesn't the grace of Christ pay for this, and isn't cutting this limb from my life an attempt at self-righteousness? Am I trying to be in charge of my own cleanness and spitting in the face of Christ's mercy and grace?" This hand is right, to a certain extent. A healthy amputation can quickly become an act of self-mutilation if the grace of Christ isn't considered. If we cut off an offensive limb without believing that Christ is sufficient to lavish love and healing in it's place, we spit on Him. If we gauge out an eye in an attempt to make ourselves more worthy or acceptable in His sight, we deem Him incapable of loving us while we were yet sinners (part of what makes Him so amazing). The Great Physician would not prescribe amputation unless it were necessary. As terrifying as it is, we must approach the procedure with complete trust and obedience--anything less would be plastic surgery, a far more terrifying fate. 

This Sounds About Right, Doesn't It?

Your results:
You are Hulk

Hulk 85% Superman 80% Spider-Man 75% Supergirl 75% The Flash 65% Wonder Woman 55% Iron Man 50% Catwoman 45% Robin 40% Batman 35% Green Lantern 35%

You are a wanderer with amazing strength.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Tenudo

Well .... here I am. It is all too overwhelming to try and capture all that has happened since the last post .... but rather than filing it all away in the "too much time and effort to blog about" pile, I'll employ a helpful tactic: a list. I've made them before, and they do help. So, without further ado, "The List" part two (I didn't intend to rhyme, but I like it anyway).

1. The title of this post comes from a musical symbol which, when written over a note, implies that a note be held out for its full value -- and even exceed the limits of its value a little bit. That is what each day has felt like since the beginning of the semester. Each day is held out for it's full value -- not to the point of crossing the lines of time and space -- but full nonetheless. I wish I could say that I perceive each moment's fullness as God intends, but honestly, at times .... I'm just busy. There are days in which I run from one thing to the next and I don't see my little nest for 18 hours. Yet, I cannot deny that I am thankful for each of the things placed in my life for one reason or another.
2. One of those things is school. I love school. It's a frightening thought, but I can see myself being a perpetual student, ultimately to assume my place as the eccentric older lady sitting in the front of the classroom, laughing at the most inappropriate times. Oh, the joy .... I think I'm exaggerating a little bit, but I am enjoying myself. I'm taking mostly Music classes: theory, history, choir, piano, a voice lesson .... and an English Lit class (I'm testing the waters to see if I want to minor in it). Each class has a wonderful professor, each class has taught me so many interesting things, and each class has offered me both joy and challenge. It's funny .... I still don't know what I'm doing, but my feet are moving. A few weeks ago, I was in the car with my dad. I was having a bit of an overwhelming moment as I contemplated everything on the plate before me, and doubting that the "things" in my life had purpose. As I was on the verge of tears, my dad said something so clear and beautiful. He said, "I know that you're on the right track." It was straight from the mouth of God. Yes, parents are often known to say such things, but I know that neither my Heavenly Father nor my earthly father would say this unless it were true. I know that God is unique and none of His plans can be thwarted. The path He orchestrates, with its turns, rocks, roots, hills and vales is sure to be completed. If we are chosen of God, this is our reality. We will hear Him saying "This is the Way ... walk in it" whether we turn to the right or to the left. So .... all is well.
3. I've also recently started singing at my church. It has been a privilege to communicate in this way again. Its also so wonderful to get to know the Family better, with all their quirks and glories. It is an honor to serve alongside and be related to such favorites as: lead guitarists in their own little worlds, friendly and encouraging bass players, women who embody Proverbs 31 to the extreeeeeeeme, prayerful and humble little drummer boys, and leaders, visionaries rather, whose lives are lived in unbelievable honesty. I consider myself the least of such a band of troubadours, but so thankful to be with them, to learn from them. It is a challenge to serve in this way and there exists a seriousness and responsibility with proclaiming the Truth and communicating this way. I often feel dirty, exposed and unworthy as I stand before the congregation. But a few days ago, the Lord led me to John chapter 8, the story of the adulterous woman (caught in the act) who is set free. It's interesting. Even after the stones of judgment have departed with the hands that carried them, the woman continues to stand in her shame. Jesus askes her, "Who is it that comdemns you?" There is no one. He then says, "Neither do I. Go. And sin no more." I am often like this woman. Even after judgment has been undone, I still choose to stand in my shame -- shame of the past, present, future -- the very shame of which Christ has made me more than a conqueror through Him. Yet, Christ says to go. Do no dwell on the shame. Go live. Go and enjoy the freedom of no longer being a slave to sin. Go and proclaim what He has done before the congregation and do not restrain your lips. I am thankful to be learning this, slowly arriving to it alongside such a patient and gentle Teacher.
4. There is much more to say .... but it will all come out in time. In the meantime, I am thankful for those of you who, in your blog hopping, have visited the blog called Brown with laughter and rolled eyes because of its painful neglect (and yet you still come back). I send you my love. I remain your friend. I remain your servant.

According to my blog, I really am forever 21!

To the eyes which grace this page (but more importantly the people behind them), I issue an apology for the lapse in posting. The last part of summer (after the Wedding Tour) has proven to be quite busy, indeed. Work + work + work + lack of internet access = no blogging for Kristine Brown. Yet this equation has been a nice change ... I really like to work hard and I've learned so much. School starts in a few days, and as I sit in the library, many students scurry around me to finish up their preparations. I must go and do the same. Friends, hold fast to your confession of faith without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. This has been returning to me again and again as the weeds and tares of the world spring up to unearth the seeds He has sown in my life. Hold on tight and remember that you are held onto.

Forever 21

It kind of makes me laugh that there is actually a clothing store by this name .... mostly because I can't imagine what it would be like to be 21 forever. To be honest, completely honest, the thought of being 21 forever makes me want to run far, far away and hide, hide, hide. I'm quite glad that my 21st year has now given way to the 22nd on this very HOT, very beauitful summer day. My 21st year was the perpetual waiting room ... I waited and waited, the entire year, for many things. However, the waiting did not give way to hope, for I waited for what was not worthy to be waited on. In the process of waiting for the Lord to show me the right way to go (i.e. the right ministry, the right church to invest in) I went the wrong way and forsook many "today"s. I waited so much for what was "right" that I missed out on much of "now" and found that my life was "wrong". Lots of quotes. (just pretend they are all accompanied by the hand motions : ) Yet, the Lord counts my life anything but a waste .... He has performed much, even in the midst of my waiting. And better yet, He still offers an outstretched hand which beckons me to jump in and enjoy today with Him. I am thankful today. "Those who hopefully wait for ME will not be put to shame" (Isaiah 49:23) -- a beautiful promise from a beautiful God.