Have a Heart

For the upcoming Small Group Curriculum, I combined some of my favorite elements... a color palette called "You're Done For"(nothing implied, I assure you), "Heart Stamps," & New Cicle Fina. Keepin' it simple.

Prescriptions & Promises

If you were to watch me work for about 5 minutes (it doesn't take long) it wouldn't take very long for you to identify the fact that I have bad eyes. All the signs are there. I sit really close to the computer screen, I squint, I scrunch, I grimace, my mouth gapes... not a pretty picture. 

In thinking about this week's Small Group curriculum -- "Heart Idolatry" -- I wonder how many of us suffer from bad spiritual eyes. I wonder if our idolatry, our bent toward making small things into ultimate things, has made us blind.  I wonder if all the signs are there. I wonder if it makes us squint, strain, strive to see, to hold onto shifting shadow and scintillation but to no avail. I wonder if we grimace, if the malcontent oozes from our pores and permeates our actions. I wonder if our mouths gape from hunger, from longing, but are never satisfied. What's worse... I wonder if we can't see it when it's right in front of our faces. 

It takes a lot to make me see. A lot. At times, I wish it didn't take such a stern word to make me listen. It might be nice if the grip to keep me from wandering wasn't so firm. Yet, how terrible it would be to have those wishes fulfilled. What better word is there than a stern one given in love? What better grip is there than one that will never let go? For idolatrous and blind and depleting spiritual vision, there is no better prescription than a promise. So here... here are the lenses that I need to look through. Maybe you need them, too. 

1. "Oh afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in antimony and your foundations in sapphires." - Isaiah 54:11
2. "My grace is sufficient for you. My power is perfected in weakness." - 2 Corinthians 12:9
3. "Only give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently, so that you do not forget the things which your eyes have seen and they do not depart from your heart all the days of your life; but make them known to your sons and your grandsons." - Deuteronomy 4:9
4. "Therefore... consider Jesus..." - Hebrews 3:1
5. "Be anxious for nothing."  - Philippians 4:6
6. It's not about me. (Galatians 2:20)
7. "Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?" - John 11:40
8. "Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you." Psalm 116:7
9. The cross is big enough, forgiveness strong enough.
10. Be strong and courageous. And do it. (2 Chronicles 28:20)
11. He hears. He knows.
12. His kindness leads us to repentance. Repentance leads to reconciliation. Reconciliation leads to peace. (Romans 2:4, Acts 3:19, 2 Corinthians 5:16-20)
13. Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take / the clouds ye so much dread / are filled with blessing and shall break / in blessings on your head.
14. Kiss the rod of discipline. Embrace it. The Father disciplines those whom He loves. (Hebrews 12:3-13)
15. Whatever "this" is, it is not the end. THIS is the end: "Behold, I am making all things new." (Revelation 21:5)

The rest are for you to fill in. 

Nehemiah Was Man Enough To Wear Pink

Repentance

"They turn, but not upward..." Hosea 7:16

During the last few months... or 12 hours, more specifically... I've been thinking a lot about repentance. Those who have found themselves warming church seats for any considerable amount of time have heard the word "repentance" and its associated analogies. It's "turning to God, away from sin," "a 180 degree shift," and -- in perhaps its 'churchiest' incarnation -- a Sunday school felt board character doing a backflip and skipping away from the clutches of sin as children watch on in bewilderment. 

These incarnations, however, can be fairly cheap. They can be fairly impotent. When you're addicted to smoking and want to quit, holding a carrot between your first and middle fingers is a poor substitute for a cigarette. It doesn't fit the subtle curvature of your hand. It doesn't know the intimate rhythm of your breath. It certainly isn't soothing. (Unless you really like carrots. I mean, really like them.)

When it comes to the addiction of sin, the addiction of self, we certainly do not need carrots. We don't need to exchange the temporal for the temporal. We need to exchange the seen for the unseen. Turn laterally all you want -- but what you really need to do is seek up. 

During the last few months, the Lord has had the mercy and kindness to lead me to repentance. When I find myself scrambling, turning in circles to find a source of relief from the onslaughts of life, personal wounds, the waging war of sin and self, He intervenes with a simple truth: "Nothing is going to come and save you." Over and over, he says this. Literally. And He's right -- because He already did. There is complete and utter sufficiency in the cross of Christ -- past, present, future, forever. It is a fight to believe this unseen truth in our often contrary experience, but it is a fight worth fighting. If you fight to be the exception, thinking that "this" struggle is not covered by the cross, you fight battle already lost. 

The verse I mentioned at the beginning -- in Hosea -- goes on to describe the people of Israel as "a deceitful bow" since their repentance is not genuine and oriented toward God. Yet, as Martin Luther puts it, "God makes straight lines with crooked sticks." What a hopeful promise. No matter how deceitful the bow, it will be a straight shooter when wielded by Jesus. I hope we can all bank on this today.

"And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved." Acts 4:12

Holy Week

I think it is by God's amazing providence and foresight that it's time for Holy Week. I'm thankful for the deliberate consideration that it stirs up, for the sacrifice that it encourages us to muster in light of what Jesus has done. I find myself hungry and thirsty for this soul-work as I find myself in the midst of a challenging season.

Today is Palm Sunday. Whenever I think about Palm Sunday, the following verses come to mind:

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not! See, your house is left to you desolate. For I tell you, you will not see me again, until you say, 'Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.'" (Matthew 23:37-39)

After Jesus enters Jerusalem -- met with ultimate praise, acknowledgement and acclaim -- he weeps. He was proclaimed rightly, as Savior, King and God; yet he knew that it would only be a few short days until that praise turned to reviling and utter hatred. And yet how he still longs for them! How he still longs for us! It seems utterly impossible that such a love could exist, but it does. He does. Why do we fight it? Why do we turn away in unbelief? Why do I fight him and turn away from him in unbelief?

I hope to know this great love more intimately this Holy Week. I hope to know this longing. I hope to embrace what it means to be gathered under his wing more fully, to grasp it more fully somehow, to turn toward him and embrace him as he sets his face like flint and heads toward the cross. I have a feeling this is what he wants, as well.

Be Here Now

"He who watches the wind will not sow and he who looks at the clouds will not reap. Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things. Sow your seed in the morning and do not be idle in the evening, for you do not know whether morning or evening sowing will succeed, or whether both of them alike will be good." --Ecclesiastes 11:4-6

Sometimes it is easier to watch the wind and to look at the clouds than to be here now. There's always something beyond the horizon, something big on its way, something higher to attain... this is what I often choose rather than learning to love God, believe in His love for me, and serve Him while in this imperfect skin of mine -- right here, right now.

There are some pretty drastic implications in living this way. I forsake believing that this imperfect skin is, in fact, lavished with grace and is acceptable on that basis. This thinking will often lead me to the conclusion that it is some future version of me who is approved and has the pleasure of being called the 'Real Kristine' -- the true child of God, the better friend, the better girlfriend, the better employee, the better deacon -- rather than the woman who is found sitting at a computer typing out the various spillings and overflows of her heart. I will also deceive myself into thinking that joy is surely on its way -- definitely not here yet -- and is somehow not available to me right now. It's a similar case with healing, transformation, contentment... a plethora of stuff covered at the 'Walking with Jesus 101' class that seems to come back for 201, 301, 401... because it's sometimes allusive and needs frequent revisitation.

In God's economy, one is to be faithful with little and will then be deemed faithful with much. This certainly includes issues of character. If we are constantly looking to the clouds for the 'next big thing' or our 'next character breakthrough', we will ignore the small things and His work in them. We will ignore the identity that we have been given in Him NOW that enables us to do the sowing and reaping that we need to do NOW, whether in regard to the responsibilities on our respective plates or the pulling the weeds and tares out of our hearts to make room for the good that God so earnestly wants to cultivate (and has already cultivated!) in, through and with us. We must be careful to attend to the land that we have been bestowed -- here and now. We must be diligent to sow in the morning, do the work before us while there's still time, and not be idle at night. Who knows what God is doing?

The answer is: a lot. And it's all good. And it's all glorifying to Him. May I have the sense to be here right now, embrace it, and enjoy it.

Top 5 Sermons of the Year

Last night, I was provoked to think about my 'top 5' Living Stones sermons of 2008... I thought it might be a good exercise in looking at what God has done this year, so here it goes... in chronological order:

1. January '08 - Breathe In/Breathe Out - Parts One & Two [I love sermons that highlight our identity in Christ and our subsequent identity as a community. This series was a dose of fresh vision for me. I'm justifying the fact that I'm mashing 2 sermons into 1 with the fact that you cannot breathe in without breathing out... so there.]
2. March '08 - Love To Death - Betrayal [Harvey and Bobby taught this sermon together and it was one of the most impactful sermons I've heard at LS -- ever. It contrasted the betrayal of Judas with the denial Peter and addressed the potential for these attributes which reside in each one of us. Key moment: the look that Jesus gives to Peter as he carries the cross that would ultimately bear the sin of Peter's very denial. It'll cut you to the core and purge the selfishness, doubt, pride and fear right out of you. Freedom from the guilt of betrayal (both from our hands and the hands of others) is found in abundance at the cross.]
3. April '08 - Good Friday [It wasn't a 'sermon', per se, but the Holy Spirit brought it that night... Danny preached on the Crucifixion with an astonishing amount of zeal, thoughtfulness, compassion and conviction. I don't think anyone left that night without feeling the weight of glory that Christ wrought for us on the cross.]
4. August '08 - Integrated Humanity - Suffering and Prayer [Another one from Danny Daley -- the realities of suffering and prayer were preached with candidness. We looked at the lives of Joseph and Job in order to cultivate a biblical response to suffering -- ultimately, patience. Prayer should be approached similarly. But in all things -- dependence on God.]
5. November '08 - Ecclesia - The Body of Christ [The last 5 minutes of Harvey's sermon said it all: STOP LIVING FOR SMALL THINGS. Enough said.]

Worth mentioning are two services that -- as a whole -- were incredibly impactful. The Easter gathering in April and the 'Tricky' gathering in March were oozing with creativity and new ways to tell the story of Jesus. Ambient video loops, worshipful music, scripture readings with unique instrumental accompaniment, shadow screens, Jesus' ninja-logic... good stuff.